Is your love for music slipping away?

Okay, I’ll admit it—I’m about to sound dramatic.

But given that you're all musicians, I think you’ll understand.

I am heartbroken by what my music career has become.

Now, don’t get me wrong—I’m grateful for everything I’ve built.

•I opened a music school and taught over 500 students.
•I met some of my musical heroes—none other than Tommy Emmanuel.

And even though it’s not directly music-related, this journey led me back to writing, which became this newsletter.

But I can’t remember the last time I picked up my guitar and played just for fun.

The irony? I "play" guitar every day when I teach.
But I don’t play for me—not like I used to.

And here’s the part that really breaks my heart:

Every time I sit down to learn a song, write music, or even create content about music, my brain instantly asks—

"How am I going to monetize this?"

I can’t turn it off.

And I know I’m not alone.

Lately, I’ve been posting more on Threads, and I’ve seen musicians talking about the same thing—
The struggle between making a living from music and simply playing for the love of it.

Some believe they have to chase streaming numbers, big crowds, or session gigs to prove their worth.
Others ask, “What does ‘making it’ even mean?”
And some say, “Simply enjoying it is making it.”

For me, making it used to mean one thing—

Bringing people joy.
Helping them through tough times.
Giving them a way to express who they really are.

But somewhere along the way, I lost that.

Instead of sharing music from the heart, I obsessed over algorithms.
Instead of just playing, I worried about whether my content would perform well.
And ironically, all that effort led to nothing.

I've posted exactly one guitar video on my YouTube channel in the last four years.

Instead, my days are filled with emails, admin, budgeting, marketing—
And managing a team of young tutors who, at the best of times, act like school kids whining about what they don’t get.

This isn’t what I set out to do.

Look, I know how this sounds.

I can hear the voices already—
"You should be grateful you get to do what you love for a living."

And I am grateful.

But here’s the truth:

For years, I haven’t been doing what I love.
I’ve been chasing the opposite of it.

It’s drained me mentally.
It’s taken a toll on my health.
And by the end of 2024, my body completely shut down—I had a full-body seizure.

So, congratulations to me—I became the tortured artist cliché.

I’ve always believed that once music becomes purely a business venture, it stops being music.

Now, don’t get me wrong—I still stand by what I’ve said in this newsletter.
Musicians should learn financial management, marketing, and embrace new tools.
That knowledge helps build sustainable careers.

But it doesn’t mean it won’t suck the joy out of it.

Because in my pursuit to escape the starving artist trap, I forgot why I played in the first place.

I forgot why I became a guitar teacher—

•The quiet moment when a student’s face lights up with understanding.
•The parent telling me their child finally found something they love.
•The simple joy of passing musical knowledge from one generation to the next.

I forgot how it felt to sit on my couch, play my favorite songs for an hour, and exhale.
To remind myself that no matter how hard life gets, music will always be there.

And right now, I’m trying to get that back.

Not by chasing the past or trying to be 19 again—
But by remembering what made me fall in love with music in the first place.

I get why some musicians choose a 9-5 and just play for fun.

Because it keeps music pure. It keeps it theirs.

So if you ever feel guilty for not monetizing your music—
Don’t.

It’s okay to play just because you love it.

And I hope you never stop.

What do you think?

Has the pressure of having to monetisation changed your relationship with music?
Reply and let me know—I’d love to hear your perspective.

🔄 And if today’s newsletter resonated, I’d love for you to share it with a fellow musician who needs to hear it.

Thank you so much for supporting my newsletter. It means a lot.

(I guess I’ll have to monetise it even more now?)