How to stop doubting yourself and start embracing your success

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Being a musician feels like walking a tightrope between joy and anguish.

On one side, there’s the euphoria of creating something that touches people’s lives, the dream of being admired, and even the hope of making a living from your art.

On the other, there’s the relentless self-doubt, the harsh criticism, and the sacrifices that weigh on your mental health.

Today, I want to talk about imposter syndrome—a struggle that every musician will face. Yes, every single one.

It’s like an invisible contract you unknowingly sign the moment you say, “I want to be a musician.”

The Dichotomy of Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome is a strange thing.

On one hand, it can push you to work harder, refine your craft, and create something unique.

But on the other, it can make you feel like you’ll never be enough. That no matter how far you’ve come, someone else is always ahead of you.

And it doesn’t go away. It stays with you, whispering in your ear, even as you grow and achieve more.

I know this because I’ve experienced it firsthand in recent times.

When the criticism hits home

In July 2024, I received two stinging criticisms from parents at my music school.

One told me they regretted sending their child to me.
The other called me arrogant and unqualified—not just as a teacher, but as a business owner.

Now, I’ve been teaching music for 10 years. I’ve received hundreds of emails, both positive and negative.

But for some reason, these two comments hit harder than usual.

For the first time in my career, I didn’t want to teach anymore.

I kept showing up for my students, but I carried this weight into every lesson. My inner critic grew louder: “What if they’re right? What if everyone thinks this way?”

It wasn’t until I started reaching out to other parents—ones who were supportive and grateful—that I began to shift my perspective.

The Truth About Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

So if you’re still reading, you might be wondering: How do you overcome imposter syndrome?

Here’s the truth: you don’t.

I know that’s not the answer you wanted, but imposter syndrome doesn’t disappear. Instead, you learn to live with it—and even use it to your advantage.

Criticism is unavoidable, and the longer you try to ignore it, the harder it is to keep it from affecting your mind and mental health.

When I started playing and teaching professionally at 19, imposter syndrome wasn’t much of a struggle. Sure, I had doubts, but I accepted them—kind of like an annoying relative you can’t avoid, but you learn to live with.

I want to share 3 questions I often wrestled with and how I turned them around.

1. “Am I talented, or just lucky?”

If you're just starting out or waiting for that big break, you might ask yourself this too. But here’s the thing: If you've spent hours perfecting your craft—practicing, learning, building a solid song list—then you’ve earned the luck that comes your way.

Some artists get lucky, but the more effort you put in, the luckier you’ll become.

I got by with natural talent until I was 18. Then, I met guitarists around the world who were just as skilled—or more so—than I was. Or so I thought.

They weren’t just “talented.” They worked their asses off.

So ask yourself: Are you relying on your natural ability, or have you put in the work? If you’ve worked hard, you’ve earned every success and will earn more.

2. “Why does everyone else seem more successful than me?”

If I had a dollar for every time I asked myself this, I’d be on broadway with Hugh Jackman right now.

Here’s the reality: when you’re starting out, you’ll learn from musicians more successful than you. But success isn’t a one-size-fits-all path. I used to compare myself to musicians like Jacob Collier or Ed Sheeran, who were only a few years older than me.

But I had to face the truth: Both Jacob and Ed started early, writing and performing from their high school years. While I was playing guitar since I was four, it wasn’t until I was 18 that I committed to music as my career.

Success isn’t linear. Even if you tried to copy someone’s path exactly, it wouldn’t work because life doesn’t work like that. And if you did manage it, you’d always come in second.

A mentor once told me to stop learning his songs and start writing my own. By copying others, I’d always be second-best. But if I wrote my own music and taught my way, I’d be one of a kind.

That advice shifted everything for me, and since then, I’ve focused on learning from others to make their techniques my own, instead of trying to copy their exact journey.

And finally, the last question:

3. What if I fail and everyone realizes I’m not good enough?

Failure is something many of us fear—especially as musicians. But the truth is, failure doesn’t mean you’re not good enough.

I’ve made mistakes on stage, played wrong notes, or had a bad sound in a performance. And when I teach, most of my lessons aren’t perfect, either. Some are just “okay.”

But here's the thing: Being okay with failure is different from showing it.

In 2019, I auditioned for a jazz degree at the conservatorium, playing Moon River. Afterward, I felt good about it, but the judges didn’t.

They said my technique was great but pointed out that my expression was lacking. I was grimacing as if I’d made mistakes, even when I hadn’t.

In 2020, I returned to audition again, playing Autumn Leaves. This time, I trusted my skills, relaxed, and enjoyed the performance. I missed a few notes, but the groove and the vibe were there.

The judges noticed. They said that while my technical skills needed work, my performance showed the joy of music—and that’s why we perform in the first place.

That taught me: I was good enough. My past failures didn’t change that.

One of the best pieces of advice I got came from my high school music teacher:

“Just because you give one bad performance doesn’t make you a bad musician. And just because you give one good performance doesn’t make you a great musician. You become great over time. For every bad performance, you’ll give three good ones.”

Failure is part of the process. Once you accept it, it doesn’t hold you back. You may feel frustrated, but you’ll move on, knowing that each step forward builds your success.

So, remember: If you keep working, you’ll earn your success—whether others think it’s luck or not.

I hope today’s newsletter helped with imposter syndrome. These lessons apply beyond music, too.

And as someone who still wrestles with it (especially after some tough moments), know that imposter syndrome is the anti-hero you need. It might not be fair, but it teaches you something valuable.

If you’re ready to stop letting imposter syndrome control you, I’ve created a PDF framework with journal prompts and trackers to build the resilience you need to take your music career to the next level.

Reply with “resilience,” and I’ll send it to you.

You are good enough. Don’t forget that.

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