The Double-Edged Sword of Expectations

Expectations can be a double-edged sword for musicians. They can drive disciplined practice but also lead to crushing disappointment.

Reflecting on my journey, I often think about the high expectations set by my music teachers. How often did I really meet them? I recall my first jazz guitar lesson vividly. My teacher spent a few minutes getting to know me before outlining everything required to become a jazz musician:

• Master 2–5–1 lines.

• Memorize 300 jazz standards.

• Practice 4 hours daily—2 in the morning, 2 at night.

Before I knew it, I had 12 exercises to start practicing over "Autumn Leaves." I went home feeling overwhelmed, wondering if I was learning music or tackling quantum physics. Despite years of guitar experience, I'd never felt more intimidated.

Music education often imposes lofty expectations on young students—talented but inexperienced and unprepared for the rigors of professional musicianship. Classical musicians are told to practice 8 hours daily, while jazz students are expected to master multiple styles and arrange for big bands within a few years.

Some might say, "That's just how it is." But the truth is, unrealistic expectations can lead to two outcomes: a loss of passion or an obsessive pursuit that ends in depression, anxiety, and burnout.

You wouldn't expect a learner driver to start at 120km/h on a freeway. Similarly, young musicians need time to grow.

When I finally shared with my teacher how these expectations were affecting my mental health, he shifted gears. He reassured me that it was okay to keep things simple and focus on one thing at a time. In our next lesson, we did just one thing—played songs. No exercises, no complex concepts, just music.

It was the most fun I'd ever had in a lesson, and I learned more that day than in two years of previous lessons.

Today’s world is obsessed with numbers and outcomes, but what if we reimagined expectations for young musicians? What if we set achievable goals that nurtured their passion and mental health?

Instead of overwhelming them with must-know songs, why not start with one chord? Instead of 557 jazz standards, why not begin with a single melody or progression?

Starting small and being patient with your craft can shape you into the musician you’re meant to be—without sacrificing your happiness or mental health.